I know, I know. It's been awhile since I've written, but hey, at least that means there's more drama for me to write about, right? lol -- here goes.
Well, Sunday night, actually monday morning (3:30am) "B" and I ended up having phone sex! It was soo hot. I mean, it wasn't like, ooh baby I want to ram my hard d**k into your pu**y. y'know what I mean. It was more sensual and erotic. Listening to him breathe hard and tell me he wanted to be inside me and how I wished that he were. We both came and I tell you that I've never orgasmed like that before. Well, actually once before, but in all the years I've been masturbating.. that was phenomenal!
Yesterday we talked on the phone and he was acting weird and it was because of our last "conversation." I asked him if he regretted it and he said no, but that was something he had never done before. So, last night, he called at 12:30, which is when he always calls me, but he didn't really want to talk. He's making me all frustrated and confused that it's pissing me off.
Anyways, today I felt soo lonely and depressed and sad that I actually drank some bacardi at 3pm in the freaking afternoon. I contemplated taking some of my vicodin, but, I definitely wouldn't make it to my night class. I really want him soo badly.
It's kinda weird that I'm being a homewrecker, because I'm not like this and never imagined this situation ever arising in my life. I'm a 26yr old virgin who lives off her aunt and uncle and goes to a freaking community college! I work at starbucks for fucks sake. I'm overweight, have self esteem and body issues and has never had a boyfriend. When he tells me that he desires me and is attracted to me and that if he weren't married, we'd definitely be dating, I get all mushy and happy inside. He is THE first guy to make me comfortable in my own skin. I don't care how I look naked with him. Not that he's seen me naked of course...lol... yet!
Geez, I need to be a good girl. All my friends think I need to step back from this situation and not talk to him anymore, but he's like cocaine... I need him... anyways, I'm probably gonna give him the rest of my vicodin. He likes taking it, and I don't really.
Well, I think that's it for now. I have to get ready to go to my night class. So far, planetary astronomy sucks.
btw, I almost died a week ago due to an allergic reaction to Ultracet. It has a narcotic in it called Tramadol that really fucked me up. So, if you get prescribed this, be fucking careful. It's only been approved by the FDA for 2yrs and if you are allergic to it, you WILL experience a reaction after the 1ST dosage!! be extremely careful! Well, enough of the sermon.
Laters
6:32 p.m. - 2003-09-10
Recent entries:
solitude - March 31, 2014
Je suis triste... - June 28, 2013
I thought I found what I always wanted - June 25, 2013
oh you delicate heart... - June 18, 2013
all the small things... - May 21, 2013
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