Well ladies and gents, he isn't ignoring me after all. So this whole week I've been eating crap for no reason (I wish I weren't an emotional eater). He called last night and instead of me retelling every detail of our conversation, I'm gonna give the highlights.
His wife was going through the call logs on his cell phone and noticed that the last call he received was from me and the last call he made was to me, as well.
Basically, she's decided to no longer keep in contact with me, meaning she will no longer be my friend. Other than fucking her husband, I've been a pretty good friend, in my humble opinion. I think that we had fun hanging out when we were in school together. I sometimes wonder if we only had that in common, school I mean. I know that I have more in common with him than with her. Also, she's asked him to not be my friend as well. Our conversation last night was pretty much about that bit of information.
We came to the conclusion that we would remain friends even though it will be a bit difficult. I won't be able to call him if there may be a chance she's with him. So that means I can call him when he gets right out of work. We might be able to have lunch together here or there, but that's it. I don't think we'll be able to hang out unless he wants to go to a bar after work, drive around or score a quickie.
Anyways, we're pretty much limited to emailing each other and he isn't too reliable in that area at all. He can read my email but can't seem to respond. This irks me most of the time. I like to have my emails aknowledged so that I know he's read them. Oh well, what can you do? Nada.
We also brought up a pretty huge subject concerning pregnancy! Eeep! We didn't use a condom last monday and the next day I was all happy and had a dorky grin on my face yet in the back of my mind I wondered what would happen if I got pregnant. I told him not to worry because I'm PMS'ing big time. However, I imagined myself running home to California or possibly Houston to hide without telling him. He freaked out a bit at this and I had to tell him to calm down because he was starting to really freak out. Hehehehehe. I had to reiterate the whole on my period thing. It was kinda funny, but I could see why he would freak out.
Anyways, remember that I'm not pregnant!!! But, I asked him if he would want to know or not. He said he'd want to know because a person shouldn't bear the responsibility alone. I find it admirable, but I'd fear telling him because I wouldn't want to ruin his life. Does it make any sense to want to protect him this way? REMINDER...NOT PREGNANT!!!
Well, he still want's to be my friend, for which I'm happy and I still want to be his friend. We'll be friends to the end and wear those best friend trinkets that little girls wear.
Onto other subjects... I had to work today, it sucked. Working sucks. The man is always trying to bring me down!! Damn the man!! lol -- I'm tired of my job. I can't wait until the semester is over so that I can finally get a better job. However, there may be a problem. I kinda haven't been doing so well in school, I probably failed two tests that I took last week. Ooops! So, I've been thinking. This school thing, what's the purpose in it anyway?? lol j/k!
The purpose of obtaining a college degree is so that you can find a better paying job to pay off all your school debts. That's the whole purpose of college. You hate the entire process and you get a good job to pay off debts. Ain't life grand? lol. Whelp, I need to get my ass in gear and do better. Luckily I can drop 1 test in each of the classes I took those tests in. Have I ever expressed any anger or hatred towards my astronomy class? yes? no? maybe? kinda? sorta? Well, I FUCKING HATE MY ASTRONOMY CLASS AND I FUCKING SUCK AT CERAMICS! I have no artisitic bone in my FINE ASS BODY and my US govt class is cool.
It's 5:35 and I'm bored as fuck. I have nothing to do. Well, I lied. I can do some homework, but who wants to do homework on a fucking saturday?? not i.....
Here's an interesting poem I found. That's all it is. Interesting.
She is more to be pitied than censured
She is more to be helped than despised
She is only a lassie who ventured
On life's stormy path ill advised
Do not scorn her with words fierce and bitter
Do not laugh at her shame and downfall
For a moment stop and consider
That a man was the cause of it all.
~William B Gray
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
a reclusives hot spot, a safe haven
so small, cluttered, lived in
i wish to never leave
the fear chokes me
life is out there
loneliness, solitude
comforting isolation
to never face anyone again
my safe haven from the world
i am imprisoned
(something I wrote long ago)
5:08 p.m. - 2003-10-04
Recent entries:
solitude - March 31, 2014
Je suis triste... - June 28, 2013
I thought I found what I always wanted - June 25, 2013
oh you delicate heart... - June 18, 2013
all the small things... - May 21, 2013
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