The day started off somewhat slow. I overslept and was almost late to class, but I made it with 1 minute to spare! However, I was standing outside smoking and this guy told me he liked my pants. Uh, okay, thanks! That was a bit strange, but okay.
After class, I made my way home to get ready to meet with Ronnie and watch School of Rock. The movie was funny and mostly entertaining. There were alot of cute moments. I especially liked the battle of the bands scene at the end.
Sigh... I'm home now. I have to do some astro homework and I really don't want to, but in order to pass the class, I must do it. But first!!! I always check my emails several times a day and I got one from kelly. Here's a snippet from that email:
"I hope you're not mad at me because of the way things went on the phone the other day. I really would like to be able to be friends with you. If you can't, you can't, but I think we can try as long as you respect the boundaries i have regarding Ben."
I thought this was over, but I guess I need to end it. This is what I wrote back to her:
"I've looked at our situation and realized that we haven't been good friends for each other. We are polar opposites of each other. Your temperament is more than I can handle. I sometimes feel that you talk down to me at times which makes me feel inferior. With that said, continuing our friendship would be pointless and moot. With everything going on in my life right now, I feel the need to surround myself around positive people."
"If you'd like to pick up your boots and book, I will have them at Starbucks ready to be picked up whenever you want. Sorry that it has come down to this, but I feel that this is what's best for me. We had fun times and I know that everything will go good for you in your life."
I feel somewhat uneasy about the way I sounded in the email, but it's something I had to do. I can't remain friends with her. I just can't. Knowing her, she'll probably respond and ask me why or something. All I can tell her is that I respected her request to no longer be friends with ben, without question, so she should respect my request without question as well.
We had some fun at first but after the entire threesome question and the flirtation with Ben, I ended up using her to be around him. I can't believe I did that. I feel terrible about it, but it's something I did and I'm not proud of it. I need to move on and learn from what has happened here. NO MORE MARRIED FRIENDS! lol. Just Kidding. Trust me when I say that I'll never be "the other woman" ever again.
I still wonder how he's doing. I wonder if he has found a job yet or how the peer panel inquiry went at Sprint. Is he happy or sad? Does he think about me or have I been erased from memory? It'd be nice if he had an online diary or journal I could read.
3:52 p.m. - 2003-10-15
Recent entries:
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