I have a monster headache right now. I can't stop coughing my lungs out and I haven't eaten anything all day. Woops, I lied, I had two crackers, two cups of tea and one cup of hot choc w/kahlua. I hate being sick. It sucks!!
Anyway, on to other topics like propositioning BenMW. I actually did. I asked him if we could meet before I left for CA and he said he would try and that mornings are best for him (my guess is because his wife has school in the morning). Unfortunately, mornings aren't good for me because I have class and everyone's home in the mornings.
The reason I want to meet with him is to have SEX!! tee hee hee!!! I asked him straight out if we could meet up and have sex. All he could say was "ummm" and "..." It was soo funny how he kept changing the subject whenever I brought it up. I was being very persistant. I want to know so I can make sure I can set aside a day. He said he would try to figure out something. I also told him to let me know if he wants to fuck or not. To which he replied, "..." and I said that if he were too uncomfortable to tell me no, not to worry about it and to just say, I don't want to get together and fuck, let's just have lunch or something.
LOL -- he didn't reply to that. I think I made him speechless. All he could say was goodnight. So I left it at that. This conversation happened on the 3rd and I haven't heard from him since. I wonder if he's thinking hard about it. We'll see what happens.
Yesterday, I sent Dustin an email basically stating that I was attracted to him and that I thought it sucked that I'm leaving for CA and will not get a chance to know him better. I told him that I had never told anyone that I was attracted to them before and that if I seem shy or akward around him, it's because I don't know how he'll react to what I had said. He ended up reading the email right in front of me when I told him not to. He didn't have anything to say. Luckily, for him or myself I don't know, lab ended and we had to go back to the classroom.
We didn't get a chance to talk about it. But, he didn't completely ignore me. We went to Tracy's and watched Pirates of the Carribbean. He told Tracy that he was suprised at what I had said. I asked Jason for some advice about it. He said that it was a good idea to tell him. I told him that I shouldn't have because I'm going back to Cali and nothing can happen anyway. Except we can stay friends and keep in contact w/each other.
Jason then told me that he was going to do the same thing to me. Send me an email telling me he was attracted to me, but decided not to because I'm leaving. I was shocked. He then asked me if I wanted to go see Bad Santa on Saturday and I said sure. I don't know what to do with that. This is getting complicated because Tracy likes Jason who likes Me and I like Dustin! hahaha!
Oh well. We might arrange a day to go out clubbing, but we'll see if it actually happens. Dustin is sick as I am and I don't know if they're into going to gay clubs. Jason said he's gone before and Dustin as previously stated that he's not completely homophobic. So, it may be a possibility. But, I don't have to go there, I'm open to knew places.
I hope Jason doesn't think that Saturday will be a date. Hmmm... I am going to make him pick me up, because I don't want to use up too much gas driving all over the place. The 442 is a crap car and guzzles sooo much gas. I'm going broke! Carla says that if Ben doesn't call me or contact me that I should fuck Jason. I don't think so. I wouldn't mind sleeping with Dustin, but I don't think that'll happen.
Anyway, I hope Dustin emails me back and doesn't feel too akward around me. I may see him tomorrow night at the study group gala at chucks. I wonder what I should wear?? lol!
6:46 p.m. - 2003-12-04
Recent entries:
solitude - March 31, 2014
Je suis triste... - June 28, 2013
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