I know that I don't need anyone to make me happy. I shouldn't look for someone to bring meaning to my life. I have to do that for myself. So, how do I do that?
I need a life. I need to get out of the boring monotony my life has come to. I need to go out. Maybe I can convince Carla to take me to a bar or club tomorrow night. However, I'll probably be stuck doing her routine. Tomorrow is laundry day and dinner night at her parents. The good thing about going over to her parents is that I have a chance to play CS. I really miss playing every day.
There should be more to my life right? I mean, I should be doing meaningful things that fulfill me, or maybe the word is enrich. Does this make sense? I should be doing more than waking up, eating cereal for breakfast, the rest of the day is really too boring to describe. But, because I'm in my sad, lonely, depressive state, it's satisfying to just do nothing. Yet, inside I feel that I should be doing something productive. What could that be?? Hmmm... maybe looking for a job?
I still need to do that. We'll see if I can motivate myself to do it.
12:29 a.m. - January 17, 2004
Recent entries:
solitude - March 31, 2014
Je suis triste... - June 28, 2013
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oh you delicate heart... - June 18, 2013
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