It's been awhile since I've written in here and updated everyone on my life. Well so much is going on. I used to write several times a day everyday, but now that I have a life, I really don't write much here anymore. But, I've promised myself to update this thing so that I can look back and really see what I was doing and what crezy thoughts I was thinking.
Currently, I'm still working at bank of america (hell incarnate) and I hate the job. Well, the job is easy and the people are great, it's the people who call that are jerks. I am not the type of person who can handle all that abuse everyday for 8hrs at a time, make that 10hrs this week.. overtime! Why torture myself and stay in hell longer than I need to?? You got it, money. Money makes you do crezy things. Desperate things. I hate it. I wish money never existed. Could you imagine what the world would be like if we weren't greedy or power hungry? Imagine... "Imagine no possesions, I wonder if you can, No need for greed or hunger, A brotherhood of man, Imagine all the people, Sharing all the world..." heh.
Anyway. I've been kind of in a transition in my life. I've been kicked from the place I've been living at for the past 4 months, trying to save money to live on my own and go figure, shite comes up at every turn that requires a minimum of $400. I'm a sucker!). Okay, not really kicked, but they've sold their house and have decided to travel the states. What the hell for? I don't get it. I'd rather travel Europe or Canada or something. The states? Home of the ignorant, racist, conservative, cousin lovin, AKA "the South?" We should ex-communicate the south. Seriously. The United States would be better off. But, that's just my lousy opinion. Wow, isn't it amazing how I go off on tangents?? *chuckle* Oh well. That's how we all are. It's human nature to be sparked by a topic and to want to give our opinion on it.
Anyway, I'm currently living with my friend Sam and her husband Nick. They're super sweet and nice. I'm really happy to live here while I find a job in the Turlock/Modesto area. I don't know if you know what that means, but yes, I'm trying to find a job in that area so that I can live with my boyfriend. Whoa! Too soon you say? Well, piss off! I think everything you do in life should be based on how YOU feel and if YOU think it's the time for you to do whatever it is you want to do. You live your life, not the lives of others, therefore you can't live by their schedules. There are no set schedules for people. Timeframes are set for the US post office, does that mean they still deliver in that timeframe? HELL NO! They deliver your shit whenever they're ready to deliver it to you. lol. Life is kinda like a post office. lol. That doesn't even make one bit of sense, but it sounded cool.
I'm ready. I want this. I don't want to go through life regretting and wondering about what ifs. What's the worst that can happen? That I spent an amazing time loving a person so much for a time period in my life? That doesn't sound so bad. If it dosen't work out, and I hope that doesn't happen, then I move on. It will be a bit difficult at times, but you have to move on. Even though in your head you feel like life is over. It really isn't and sometimes it takes you a while to really figure that out. You deal with it and then you move on. That doesn't mean you completely forget that time in your life because it was a part of you.
Sheesh, I'm getting close to going too deep. I've noticed something different about my writing. Do you notice it?? I'm not whining about my depression anymore. I think it's fantastic. I feel it lurking around, but it's holding itself back to allow me to be happy for once. I can't explain how this is a learning and growing experience for me.
Well, the jobs are shit in that area. I don't know what's going to happen if I can't find a job there. I'm not talking about Target or Borders or some shit job like that. I'm talking about a decent job, one that pays well. Anyone can work at target, *cough*, not that that's a bad place to work. *sigh* I do miss Texas y'all, I really do.
Well, nothing else is going on with me. I'm pretty much living on someones living room floor, I drive 1 1/2 hours to see my boyfriend on my days off, he comes over too, I'm trying to find a job that's ever elusive in his area and I hate my bank of america job. BTW, the of in Bank of America is silent. Just to let you know.
keyes
6:15 p.m. - June 29, 2004
Recent entries:
solitude - March 31, 2014
Je suis triste... - June 28, 2013
I thought I found what I always wanted - June 25, 2013
oh you delicate heart... - June 18, 2013
all the small things... - May 21, 2013
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