i can't believe kerry didn't win. that sucks ass.
oh well.
things are better in the house. i'm doing much better. not so depressed anymore. i hate hormonal imbalances.
last night i woke up crying my heart out. i'm talking about gut wrenching sobs. i dreamt that carla died in front of me. she just deteriorated mentally and collapsed to the floor. i cried but then it lessened and didn't seem real. then i went to her funeral and i lost it. i completely broke down and thats when i wok up crying my eyes out. it was 4:24 in the morning and i HAD to call her and make sure she was okay.
i didn't care if i woke her ass up. i called her crying and asked if she was okay. she was like, awww, shelia, i'm okay. calm down. everything is okay. go to bed. so i told her i loved her and she returned the comment and i just laid there crying more. shane was comforting me telling me everything is okay. at the time, i couldn't handle it. i thought to myself that if carla ever did die, i wouldn't know what to do. she means so much more to me than anyone in the world. my mom and dad are up there too. but, god forbid she die before me.
that's mean. maybe we could die together..lol.. not in a ritualistic double suicide or anything... jeez.
your sick. or am i?
7:09 p.m. - November 04, 2004
Recent entries:
solitude - March 31, 2014
Je suis triste... - June 28, 2013
I thought I found what I always wanted - June 25, 2013
oh you delicate heart... - June 18, 2013
all the small things... - May 21, 2013
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