i've been feeling pretty shitty lately about my self image. god. i'm getting fat again. it sucks. i hate that i have no self control. it completely left me when i came back home.
i feel ugly and huge. i'm not as big as i used to be, but damn if i'm getting back to that weight. i don't want to. my emotional rollercoaster needs to stop. i need something to keep me steady.
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jude - i know
You've got such a pretty smile.
It's a shame the things you hide behind it.
Let um go give it up for a while...
Let um free and we will both go find it.
I know there's no where you can hide it.
I know the feeling of alone.
I know that you do not feel invited,
But come back, come back in from the cold.
Step away from the edge.
Your best friend in life is not your mirror.
Back away come back away come back away...
I am here and I will be forever and ever and i...
I know that there's no where you can hide it.
I know the feeling of alone.
Trust me and don't keep that on the inside.
Soon you...you'll be locked out on your own.
You're not alone...
You're not alone...
And don't say you've never been told.
I'll be with you till we grow old...
Till am old grown and i'm cold..
I'm not further beyond the grown..
I'll be with you till we grow up young..
Like a dog you can always come home..
Pick up a bone..
Look around town baby down town
Don't throw me to the pound..
Look around look around...
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things can be better, but i just don't know how to get there.
i don't want to hear about things that hurt my feelings or make me feel more insecure, even in jest. it still hurts. i understand that i may do it to you, but it's a reaction to an action. self defense maybe. i just want to cry. or die. dying would be easy, but hard for me to achieve. see? how pathetic am I? i can't do anything.
i'm ignorant, fat and unhappy in my own skin.
10:03 p.m. - November 07, 2004
Recent entries:
solitude - March 31, 2014
Je suis triste... - June 28, 2013
I thought I found what I always wanted - June 25, 2013
oh you delicate heart... - June 18, 2013
all the small things... - May 21, 2013
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