Okay. I had a rough day, but is that an excuse? I had a moment of weakness or something... bah!
I got home from work today and Shane and I started talking. Nothing heavy or remotely regarding or ex-relationship, but about normal stuff, like my car needing an oil change. You know, stuff like that. Well, I was in the kitchen and I was trying to make myself some dinner (hopefully I cooked the shrimp good because I don't want mad diarrhea! ick!) and he was heating up some food for himself.
I just blurted out that I missed him and he asked me why? why? How can I sum up how I miss him. AND then his phone rang. I don't know if I was saved by it or what. I didn't say anything else and he left to go to his friend Ed's house to fix his x-box. (sigh) Do I seem desperate or something?
I think I just miss him. I miss the little bits of affection he gave me and all the affection I gave him. I'll probably suffer loneliness until I die. I'm the girl that has a type B personality. I'm shy until I get to know you and I'm not at all savvy with guys. (like how I used pirate talk? yarr!) I don't know what to do or anything. God, why is life so hard? Okay, strike that, God. Nevermind. My life is roses compared to some out there in the world.
I'm listening to Pearl Jam's black and these lyrics stick out...
"...I know someday you�ll have a beautiful life, I know you�ll be a star
In somebody else�s sky, but why
Why, why can�t it be, why can�t it be mine..."
9:24 p.m. - January 06, 2006
Recent entries:
solitude - March 31, 2014
Je suis triste... - June 28, 2013
I thought I found what I always wanted - June 25, 2013
oh you delicate heart... - June 18, 2013
all the small things... - May 21, 2013
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