I can't help but wonder if Shane is going through what I'm going through. Why do men have to hide everything? It seems to me that he's already over it. All of it. I keep thinking that he's counting the seconds until I leave his life forever. He has said a couple of times before that it's hard for him, but to what extent? Should it matter? Should I even care? Why do I even think about it?
Why can't I move on? Is it because I still live in the same house as he does? Is it because I see him almost everyday? When I was on vacation, I felt like I could move on. I didn't see him and I kept busy so I really didn't even think about him. Okay, I lie, he would slip into my head a couple of times, but not in a way that was devastating.
Someone help me, God help me, anyone, please help me! I sound like a broken fucking record and it's getting tiring even to me!
7:15 p.m. - January 14, 2006
Recent entries:
solitude - March 31, 2014
Je suis triste... - June 28, 2013
I thought I found what I always wanted - June 25, 2013
oh you delicate heart... - June 18, 2013
all the small things... - May 21, 2013
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