I'm so fucking pathetic. I can't stand the things I do. The groveling, the little bit's of desperation spewing from my mouth. The fucking pathetic things I do to let HIM know I still care and want him and for what? He doesn't fucking care anymore! I'm such an idiot. Why do I do the things I do. He's over me. He doesn't love me. He broke up with me. I DON'T EXIST. I AM NOTHING. NO ONE. ZERO. AN IRRATATING THOUGHT IN HIS HEAD.
He's counting the seconds until I leave his life forever so he can start fucking some other girl. So he can be with someone more beautiful, more witty, someone he will love and marry. He was with me to past the time. So that he wouldn't be alone. Someone to take care of him. He cared for me, yes, but he didn't LOVE me.
I won't cry anymore dammit. He's not worth my fucking tears. He can go fuck himself.
11:13 p.m. - January 22, 2006
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