I have a new boyfriend. We've been dating for about 4 months now. It went from a strictly internet relationship to a live in situation. He needed help and I offered it. At first we were just friends, potential roommates. After three days, we had sex. It was good. I can't say that sex is great for me because apparently I'm one of the lucky girls who have a hard time cumming. yay.
So, we had sex. It was good. At the beginning of our relationship it was very hard for me to feel comfortable. To this day, my opinion is that he pays more attention to the hotties on the street than to me. He compliments random strange women but says he has a hard time complimenting me. Why? I don't get it. He says he loves me all the time. He was the first to say it. When he's drunk, he drunkenly says it and I can tell he means it.
Everything is great. Our friendship is awesome. I do wish he were more affectionate, more attracted towards me and less embarrassed to be seen with me???? I dunno. He doesn't hold my hand but lets me put my arm around his. Women hit on him all the time. I hate it. But, he reassures me that he's with me and there is no one else for him.
I've let him stay with me and he's only paid rent once out of the 4 months he's been here. He's contributed to groceries mainly until he gets on his feet. He has a steady job now and I'm extremeley grateful for it. Finally, we can have financial freedom.
Our time is spent apart within the same studio apartment. If I'm not on the computer, he is. Everytime I get off the computer to spend time with him, he sees that I'm off and immediately gets up to go play Diablo 2 or Counterstrike. I play both games but I realize that we need to spend time together. How can you love each other but not spend time together? Do you think being in tight quarters is the main reason he acts this way? We're around each other all the time, but he needs space? He's not used to it?
Right now, the main issue for me is SEX. I want lots of it, he doesn't. Why does this always happen to me? I'm almost 30 and reaching my sexual peak. PLUS, I just lost my virginity 3 years ago and I think I'm catching up for lost time! LOL! When we do have it, it's always what he wants. I want to be loved. I want to be made love to. I want to be adored. I want him to do all the things I want, at least once. But, when it comes down to it, he doesn't go down on me (has only done it a few times) and he wants me on top all the time. I told him that I dont feel anything from that position, but he doesn't listen. I like it from behind, but he puts so much effort and goes so fast that he loses his breath and gets tired. when he comes he always says he's busted a lung and that I'm the only woman, out of the 30 plus he's been with that can't come.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
The last time we had sex, I was on top and it lasted 30 minutes. He came. I didn't. Afterwards, he didn't do anything to help me cum. He got up and took a shower. Why are the same issues occurring now as it did in my one and only previous relationship?
Am I being used?
5:49 p.m. - October 09, 2006
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