Well, another absolutely wonderful, fun, exciting, happy year has gone by! (I'll put in a side note since it's somewhat hard to hear the sarcasm laced in the previous sentence. Those who are not as cynical or depressed as I am would have extreme difficulty in seeing any sarcasm in that statement. Hence, the side note.)
Well, the year started off as a happy one for me. But then it turned to shit. Slowly, but surely. I didn't see it coming, or at least tried not to see it coming. Robert still doesn't have a job. It's been 7 months. I know most of you are screaming at me to get a clue and kick him out. I then make the "but, I love him" reply. I don't think I can make excuses for him anymore. I don't know how to tell him. But, I will not start this year off sad, depressed and wondering why he doesn't love me enough to get a job, be the man in our relationship and take care of me instead of me doing all of the "taking care of" stuff. I'm just tired of not getting the love, attention, kindness, you know, stuff that I need. I'm sick and tired of always having to take care of someone. I don't mind if there is reciprocity, but in this case, there isn't. So, January. The first month of the new year. I will break it off with Robert. Nowing this in advance is killing me. He has to know that I'm not happy. He has to know that will all the chances I've given him that it can't last forever, right? He HAS to know! I've told him before that I wouldn't let him keep doing this to me. God, this is going to be so hard. I got him a Christmas present. He didn't get me anything. He got a gift card to Walmart from his brother, which he then used to order me something online for Christmas, yet it wont come in until the first week of January. That's how all my gifts are. LATE. I know it's just a material thing, but it's the gesture.
I dunno. Well, I'll be thinking of the best way to break it off. What a great new years, eh?
9:33 p.m. - December 31, 2007
Recent entries:
solitude - March 31, 2014
Je suis triste... - June 28, 2013
I thought I found what I always wanted - June 25, 2013
oh you delicate heart... - June 18, 2013
all the small things... - May 21, 2013
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