so, i've tried texting a few times, i've sent one email, i've noticed that he logged into his wow account yesterday but he still hasn't bothered to contact me since last wednesday. i cant help but think soo many things right now.
1. he's done with me and he'll never talk to me again.
2. he's reconciled with his wife (i hate thinking that he may have had sex with her, but, she is his wife after all, wht did i expect?)
3. he's found someone else (i actually do think that, as embarassed as i am to admit it)
i AM a fool. i'm extremely sad and hurt (my fault) and i can't help but think the worst. why wouldn't he even say hi or let me know he's ok or that its over? why would he let me sit here, try to contact him to make sure he's ok, rather than take a few seconds and just say..... something! it's over, i can't talk right now, etc. why? why is he being like this? was i really that blind? is he a jerk? this isn't normal for him. he'd always say hi to me everyday or let me know if he was busy and couldn't talk or play, etc. why would he stay as a friend on my facebook, keep his characters in my guild on wow if he didnt want anything to do with me? is he waiting for me to be upset and just remove him?
maybe i'm just jumping the gun because he is going to the presidential inauguration tomorrow and maybe he was just busy getting his stuff together for that trip. maybe i'm making excuses? see, this is what happens when i don't know whats going on. i assume. i hate it. even if what you say to me is going to tear me to pieces, i prefer the truth over my assumptions.
maybe this is a good thing. this silent treatment. maybe this is just what i need to get over him. what a fucked up thing for him to do and god if he never talks to me ever again, then i know i was used and that i should probably stay single for the rest of my life. people are complicated and life really does suck.
7:58 a.m. - January 18, 2009
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