its been awhile since i've written in this thing. life is... not how i wanted it to be but thats my fault, right? i have the ability to choose the life i want to lead so why do i choose a shitty existence? so, leo and i are officially over. its been a little over a week. he said he wasn't ready for a relationship but didn't want to change what weird relationship we had. then he tells me yesterday he's decided to start dating this girl he met while he was in LA. apparently he plays on another server with her. so, basically i'm a easily forgettable type of person. shane, my first boyfriend hooked up immediately after we broke up with another woman. robert, my ex fiance immediately hooked up with another girl after i broke up with him and now leo. all of these guys who i gave my heart, kindness, and friendship to, all immediately moved on. what does that mean? that i really didn't matter? i don't know. i feel like giving up. i think i have given up. what's the point of life? i've gained weight. i still cant find a job. i cant get back into school. i have bills that are months overdue. i have nothing to show for in my life. nothing accomplished, nothing gained (other than weight). i have no willpower to change the things i hate. whats wrong with me?
1:01 a.m. - June 16, 2010
Recent entries:
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