this song came out of nowhere. i'm reading a story and the author mentioned this song for the chapter and at my first listen, it moved me. well, it gutted me really. i cried. all my emotions that i keep buried inside just came tumbling out. it made me miss carla. it makes me long to be comforted, hugged, shown affection. it is my own fault that i've closed myself off from people. i only have her in my life that i love and trust completely. i can't wait to go home. to see her and be loved. even though we are not blood related, she is my family. i love her more than anything in the world and i make sure she knows it too.
i need to be loved. really badly. i need love. i need affection. i need to be comforted.
is it sad that i can't get it from anyone? not even my mother makes me feel loved. i know she loves me, but i don't feel it the same way. i love her, but i don't like her affections. weird, right?i shy away from her when she tries to hug me. i don't feel comfortable. i wonder why that is.
i'm so fucked up.
3:11 p.m. - September 29, 2012
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