Well, it's been awhile since I have written something.
It's midnight. It's cold, dark and I'm all alone. I keep to myself almost all day everyday. I've been playin CS everyday because I may not have a chance to play as much when I start working next friday. Oh yeah, btw, I got a job. I'll be working for a conglomerate. You may know them as, B of fucking A. Bank of America.
I made a friend already. Her name is amanda and she's cool. We talked about all the things we shouldn't talk about when you're a new hire. We talked about salary, our demeanor and stuff like that. We both found out that we have dirty minds and talk very sexually explicit. Who knew that I would immediately make friends with someone like me?
Anyway. Last night, I played CS drunx0rz and I was flirting tremendously. It was pretty bad. I'm a sexual person. I can't help it. I think about sex all the time, I like sex and sex is just... fucking SEX!! I'm driven by my hormones since I don't know what else to do in life. My primal need is to fuck. I want to do it. It's just the way it is.
I like to watch. I want to participate. Every entry I make in here has to either deal with sex or has some kind of something referring to it. Have you noticed? I think we're all driven by our need to feel good. To have sex, make love, whatever. Everyone wants it, needs it. Pleasure isn't a bad thing. Why are we so concerened about making money to do this or that when the entire world should concentrating on how we could all get laid.
If we all got laid, the world would be a better place. Don't you think? Everyone. Every-fucking-one, thinks about sex. I do. I watch this guy "KevinScotch" play with himself on his webcam. I don't talk to him. He talks to other people, but we've established that I like to watch and so he just lets me watch.
He invites me to view his webcam. We never talk, but I get to watch. I like watching men. I want to see them touch themselves. I want to see their face as they pleasure themselves. I want to see them cum.
Are you blushing at my bluntness? You shouldn't be. There's nothing shameful in this. There isn't anything wrong with my way of thinking. If you think it is, then you're brain has been tainted with negative outside influence. We'll call it, religion.
We all know that relgion has influenced society forever. It's wormed it's way into peoples lives like a virus. It supposedly teaches love for god and jesus, or allah, buddha, whatever. BUT, those in the hierarchy, grow to love their power over people. That doesn't mean to say they started out being a total dickhead. Power corrupts. You could be the nicest, most caring, considerate person, but once you're in that place of power, you'll want to keep it and may end up doing anything to keep it.
So, the church, likes its hold over the people. They say, give me money, for god and jesus and you shall be saved. Starve yourself, say these prayers all day everday, don't masterbate, don't have sex outside of marriage, don't have sex w/the same sex, etc. All these restrictions. For what purpose? To give people hope that when they died, there is something after death to experience. Hamlet says, "for in that sleep of death, what dreams may come."
Heh, this is too deep for me. I'm fucking tired, no longer on the rag, and hopefully my mood will lighten. HoPeFuLlY. I miss you Ben. I really do. I want to chat with you, but, I guess we're not on at the same time. Heh, whichreminds me of Remy. Yeah, we talked on the internet. I didn't know what to say, but I did tell him the truth. That I msised him, wondered about him, etc. He said something along the lines of giving up the perfect girl. blah blah blah.
whatever. I want to fuck. I want someone to go down on me and eat my pussy for as long as I want them to. Hours and hours and hours. I need a sex slave. Someone find me one. I'll take one to go please.
12:05 a.m. - February 29, 2004
Recent entries:
solitude - March 31, 2014
Je suis triste... - June 28, 2013
I thought I found what I always wanted - June 25, 2013
oh you delicate heart... - June 18, 2013
all the small things... - May 21, 2013
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