Well, tomorrow is the day when I officially start moving my stuff out of Shane's house. I'm slowly being eradicated. I feel like a memory fading into black, going into the back of his mind where they're eventually forgotten.
The process of moving out is really like being erased. My things, my presence is being removed from his personal space. He won't see me anymore and pretty soon he won't think of me anymore. The year and seven months we've been dating will be a flick of memory in his long life. What is one year and a half in an entire lifetime? Will I just be remembered as a girlfriend he once lived with? How will I be remembered?
I know how he will be remembered. I will remember him as the first boyfriend I've ever had. The first boyfriend I've ever lived with. The first I've ever loved. The first man I've been completely comfortable around. Although, I did have my days when I didn't want to be looked at due to PMS and severe low self esteem. He'll be remembered as long as I live. He'll be the first man I really cared for and he'll not be forgotten.
As time goes by, I'll think less and less of him, but I'll never forget him.
4:57 p.m. - January 08, 2006
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