I took the day off yesterday to play some WoW. I wanted to get my char to lvl 70. As I was playin, Robert told me to get up and kneel on the chair, face the computer and keep playing. He wanted to fuck me from behind. Finally!! I was going to have sex!! He bent me over my desk and I told him I wasn't ready. I was stoked, but I wasn't ready. He didn't really care. He waited two seconds and then plunged into me. It hurt, but I didn't say anything. I didn't even moan. I breathed hard a little bit because of the pain, and he came about 1-2 minutes later. Afterwards, I took a shower and he went straight to playin Counterstrike.
I was disappointed. He is such a selfish lover. I tell him all the things I like and yet he will only do them maybe once or twice every 6 months?? He actually went to bed tonight at the same time I was going to bed and I was feeling frisky. I didn't come yesterday or enjoy the sex we did have. I asked him if he was up for some fun. He said no, he was tired. I asked if there was anything I could do to change his mind and he said, "no."
Turned down. Yet again. I feel like shit. I couldn't lay there. I had to leave the bedroom and come out here and express how shitty I'm feeling. I feel unloved and unwanted. If I can't get him make love to me, why the hell do I put up with his shit? I obviously don't turn him on. He watches porn regularly. Yet, I can't get him to make love to me.
I don't get it.
8:16 p.m. - November 29, 2007
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