If I didn't tell you guys yet, I dropped off Kelly's boots at her home one evening and left her a message on her voicemail and sent her an email all about it.
I emailed Ben to see if she did get them because she hadn't called me or emailed me back and this is what he said:
Yea kelly got her stuff. I know she didn't call you or email and it's because she thought it was a little weird that you dropped it at the front door without even knocking. I know you called her phone and you were trying to avoid akwardness but Kelly took it as a sign that you REALLY don't like her. Of course that doesn't really change things, since you weren't going to be friends and you still aren't.
Well Kelly and I and a friend went to oaklawn tonight. Didn't see you there but with the number of people there you can't expect to run into anyone specific unless you made arrangements. I managed to get out of wearing any kind of costume. It was pretty cold which I'm sure you noticed if you had the schoolgirl outfit on. We had fun despite the weather and I hope you did too.
sleep well
Ben
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Today, I got an email from her. Read on...
Thank you for returning my stuff, but I think it's pretty shitty that you won't even face me. I guess this is goodbye for good. I hope you start getting your life on track, cause I put in alot of time trying to help you, and it didn't seem to work, cause you're just giving up again. Oh Well, I tried
Kelly
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Hmmm... She put soo much time into helping me get my life on track. Because, as you know, I'm soo fucked up and hopeless. Sigh. I don't know what I'll do without her. She did soo much for me. (note sarcasm) Hmm, I wonder what she considers "alot of time trying to HELP me." If she only knew why I felt the way I did about school the past few weeks. Yeah, I'm just giving up again...FUCK OFF!
Whatever. You know what, I'm soo fucking pissed off. She thinks soo god damn highly of herself it's crazy. I'm not a fucking charity case. I'm just glad it's fucking over with her. I'm just soo "shitty for not facing her" and the akwardness of the situation after 10 in the evening after she didn't answer a call from me. I could have knocked on the door to find her parents in the living room watching TV, Ben sitting there and Kelly asking me why I don't want to be her friend anymore or some shit situation like that. Yeah right.
Do you see what I mean when I said earlier that she sometimes makes me feel inferior? This is why. She likes to look down on people and treat them as if they're not good enough for her. I don't know if she realizes that she does it, but fuck, she does it all the time. She will always have a judgemental comment to say about everyone, even if you are a friend that she hangs out with constantly. I can think of one friend she absolutely loves to rant on and on about.... about how he has soo much drama in his life and how he bugs her all the time and get this... how he would commit suicide if she stopped talking to him. Do you see what I mean? Poor Jeffrey. If only he would see her for what she truly is. Don't get me wrong, everyone has good qualities about themselves, but her ability to look down on people is kinda hard not to notice. Whatever.
I'm moving on...
School is slowly getting back on track and work will always suck. I think a social life will be good for me, so I'll be working on that.
PS -- I got my film back...blush...and I might post one of my pic's. We'll see. I'm going to meet Erica at Kinkos where she'll scan the pic's for me. Oh yeah, there were two pic's of me and kelly sitting outside a starbucks. (oops they fell in the fucking trash. oh well.) If I do post some pics, I'll be putting a link here to a photo album. hehe.
2:16 p.m. - 2003-10-27
Recent entries:
solitude - March 31, 2014
Je suis triste... - June 28, 2013
I thought I found what I always wanted - June 25, 2013
oh you delicate heart... - June 18, 2013
all the small things... - May 21, 2013
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