Before I start, Jack, you may not want to read this but I'll let you decide for yourself if you want to read about sex, uh.. and stuff. Hehehe.
Last night, I got an IM from this guy Kevin and I gave him access to my webcam folder. We initially started talking about a week ago and he seems very fun and interesting. He's currently in law school and doing some kind of research thing for a law firm. He's really cool and very funny. Anyway, I sent him the link to the folder and he pretty much showed me his stuff online last night through webcam. LOL. He's cute, but he doesn't compare in anyway to the size of Ben. Ben is BIGGER. Heh. Anyway.
So, I kinda took my shirt off, then my bra and showed him my C cup breasts. I can't believe I did that. Even though I do the things I do online, I'm still very shy and insecure about my body. Doing stuff live is completely different. I was a little embarassed so I IM'd Carla's mobile and told her to pretend that she wanted to come online so that I could log off and sit in the corner of my room and contemplate the things I do. LOL. A moment of reflection.
I logged off and realized that he's on my messenger and if I wanted to talk to someone on my list, he'd see that I was logged on. So, I shut down her computer and started up my laptop. I logged into my secret identity screen name that only two people know. One being Ben. He's the person I've been wanting to talk to anyway. I'm checking out diaries here on diaryland and he IM's me. yay! We ended up chatting from 10:53 to 12:26.
He immediately told me that he was adding more pics to his album. Hehehe. As we chatted, I logged into that photo page soo fast! LOL. He added 7 more pics. He's soo hot. I wish you guys could see what I see. Unfortunately, none of you ever will. Sorry! hehehe. He's mine to look at! He saw the pics I posted and suggested I add more pics that show my breasts and maybe some "toy" pics! I'll do it for him only. (blush) So, I went to the store and got batteries for my toy and for Carla's digital camera. We'll see if I can make good use of those items! LOL -- and she totally knows why I want to borrow her camera. LOL.
Seven minutes into our chat he told me that he wanted to "lick and fuck me." OMG. what a tease right? That statement brought back the memory of our one night together and how fucking great it was. He then told me that he enjoyed pleasuring himself to my clothed and nekkid pics. That was such a turn on for me. To know that he pleasured himself to my pics...sigh...Then, then, he says this:
"i loved the moment where I pushed inside. so much anticipation... trying to go slow was so hard but I didn't want it to hurt. you're lucky I didn't come on my first stroke."
I was soo turned on and anyone who reads this damn diary knows that I've been unbelievably horny lately. (blush) I typed this:
"imagine me touching myself, slowly inserting one and then two fingers inside of me....and then drawing my fingers out so I can lick and smell them..."
I let loose a very very dirty boy who turned me on soo bad. I wantd to have phone sex instead, but this got me off just the same, LOL!! He started to say all the things he wanted to do to me and god I wanted him to all those things as well. For example:
"I want to put my cock in you all the way and hold it there so you can get used to it's fullness inside you then I'll start pumping in and out slow for a while, I like to savor the feeling of your body. I'll keep going till I'm almost about to cum, then I'll pull out for a moment long enough to turn you over onto your knees (which I absolutely love!) I'll ease it in from behind give it to you slow for a few strokes but then start to build momentum. within a few minutes I'll be slamming into you with all my strength. no mercy. impaling you as hard as I can."
I masterbated the entire time he was saying these things and I came sooo fucking good. I haven't came like that from masterbation since we last had phone sex. That was a fucking long time ago. I wish so bad that he were there to do all those things to me. I wanted him to fuck me so bad.
I had planned on taking more pics of myself tonight, but I have to go and stay at my sisters for the weekend. I don't know if I can manage to do the sneaky sexy things I want to do. Heh, I'm still taking the camera with, so we'll see. hehehehe... wicked baby, very wicked!
::: Side Note :::
Okay, reality has somewhat hit me. He's still the same Ben, the Ben who's married. Should I be doing the things I'm doing? I want to and I will because it's what I want to do. There's just this small granule of doubt that thinks I should not be doing these things with him online. Hmm...
::: End Side Note :::
2:49 p.m. - January 08, 2004
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