Yesterday I created a new yahoo account so I could have a little fun. It's completely anonymous. After a minute of having the account, I get this IM from "alarcon93638" and he immediately asks me if I want to web cam with him. I told him that I couldn't because I was on my laptop and he said this:
alarcon93638: its a gloomy day in the central valley, cold, miserable, not much to do
alarcon93638: what are you up to ?
averyshygirl2004: it may be a gloomy day, but, I love this kind of weather. it's very morose and sexy at the same time
alarcon93638: i completely agree, morose is a perfect word to describe it, but yet theres something mysterious about days like these.
alarcon93638: how very interesting, descriptive, imaginative, and well versed, and here i thought i would never meet someone like you on here
alarcon93638: must be days like these that bring us out
He immediately caught my attention. We talked for about an hour and a half about all kinds of things. He... had me enraptured. We talked about our views on happiness, school and philosophy, because he has a bachelors in philosophy. sigh.
alarcon93638: i can't tell you how refreshing it is to meet someone like you
averyshygirl2004: thank you. i feel the same way
alarcon93638: it's rather dificult to find a woman like you
averyshygirl2004: I have the same difficulties. However, I place all the blame on myself for being unable to find that certain someone. I am introverted and tend to be reclusive at times. I guess I feel that I can't be rejected if I'm not out there to be rejected. Crazy, right? lol
alarcon93638: no not crazy at all
alarcon93638: i am the same way
alarcon93638: you know why that is?
alarcon93638: it's becuase we would rather be certain we're miserable than risk being happy
averyshygirl2004: That's soo right.
averyshygirl2004: Is there such a thing as true happiness? I have to wonder sometimes if the people I see that are happy "go lucky" are fake. Plus, I'm not so sure that when you do obtain true happiness that it can be sustained. It can't last, right?
alarcon93638: i cant tell you how marvelous it is to here someone thinking the way i do
alarcon93638: i have half a journal dedicated to that very subject
averyshygirl2004: really? that's amazing. I go through days where all I do is try to contemplate how to make myself happy. I know that I shouldn't rely on other people to make me happy and give my life meaning, but I'm not quite sure how to do that for myself. If there was a formula I could follow, I may do it.
alarcon93638: no formulas, life has no prerequistes or detailed blue prints, happiness is a momnetary state of euphoria exprienced in small intervals throughout one's life, there is not such thing as being in a state of happiness constantly, its actually impossible, to be so one would have to defy every the schematics of a world that operates under the tenets of probability and randomness, to give an analogy one to be happy all the time would be one winning the lottery everytime
averyshygirl2004: wow. that's amazing, really. it's confirms my ideas that there isn't such a thing as lasting happiness. Sure, memories are able to bring back the feeling, but only for a moment. So, is it right to say that we as humans should strive to attain as many snippets of happiness as we can? I don't know. I've always attributed happiness to being fake and that being sad and depressed are more true emotions that every can better relate to. I'm not sure how to express what I mean. lol
alarcon93638: i know excatly what you mean wihtout endeavoring to explain it any further
averyshygirl2004: this is so refreshing
alarcon93638: i think and feel as you do this very moment
alarcon93638: cliche aside, i have to ask where have you been all my life
~~~~
His name is Remy, he's 25, has a Bachelors in Philosophy, loves to write, read, poetry, he's funny and he's sexy! At the end of our conversation, we talked about meeting each other and so he invited me to view his webcam and OMFG!!! He's soo hot and wears glasses!! LOL.. I gave him a link to my photo page so he could see what I looked like. I gave him my phone number and told him to call me today sometime in the afternoon so we could talk some more and arrange to meet. The sad thing is, he hasn't called yet. I guess I shouldn't be online tying up the phone line, but in my book the afternoon is from 12-4.
Yesterday after our conversation, I felt that he was too good to be true. He hasn't called and I don't know what to think about that.
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"What we call "morality" is simply blind obedience to words of command."
- Havelock Ellis
"Those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love; it is the faithless who know of love's tragedies."
-Oscar Wilde
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Interesting, isn't it???
4:52 p.m. - January 18, 2004
Recent entries:
solitude - March 31, 2014
Je suis triste... - June 28, 2013
I thought I found what I always wanted - June 25, 2013
oh you delicate heart... - June 18, 2013
all the small things... - May 21, 2013
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