well, it's the christmas season again. in 20 days, it will be the 1 year anniversary of the horrendous breakup of my first boyfriend ever and myself. mind you, the breakup happened after he told me he loved me and gave me two heart necklaces, one with diamonds. sigh. well, nevermind that. i have a new boyfriend now. he's absolutely gorgeous! we have the same interests and we met through the wonderful fps game counter strike. he moved here from california and i'm apologizing now for repeating myself in this entry.
thing were great at first. the first few months everything was new and exciting. i was full of shyness and anxiety because i'm self concious have a low self esteem. here he was. this gorgeous tall, blonde, blue eyed man that i played cs with. live. in person. after the third night in my apartment, we had sex. he did his best and i was amazed at his stamina. i mean, shane, well, i wont go there. you know what? fuck it! i will go there. this is my fucking blog and if i can't be honest here, then what the fuck is the point, right?
shane didn't like having sex because it took to much energy and he would prefer masterbation instead. when we did have sex, we would do positions that i liked because it's really hard for me to cum. but, even so, it didn't last more than 5 minutes. one time after sex he got up off of me, threw a towel on me and left to go take a shower. wtf?! i felt so used. i felt like a whore, like some thing he didn't care about and once he was done he had no use for it. i cried.
so, that's a brief history of the sex life i had with shane.
robert.
robert, like i said, had stamina. he tried and tried to get me to cum before him. he had control. he would go down on me, which i love, and he would try to please me. of course i love to please too and would do anything he said. we've even had anal sex. he is the first guy that i have ever had anal with. *side note* it hurt the first couple of times, but then it felt good. i almost came once from anal. *end side note* sex with robert made me happy even though i never came because the intimacy makes me feel so loved and wanted.
** to be cont. i have to go to work **
6:33 a.m. - December 08, 2006
Recent entries:
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