i know its been almost two days since we last talked, but i cant help thinking that he's back with her and thats the reason he hasn't texted or emailed me. i was thinking to myself that this is good because now i can let him go and move on. but, i broke down and emailed him twenty minutes ago and i'm constantly checking my email box to see if he's written back. i cant help but think he made up with his wife and they're living happily ever after. i so dont need this shit. i never thought i'd be this woman. a woman on the side. i hate it, but admit that its somewhat thrilling. i've never done this before. the unfortunate thing is that i've grown to really like this guy.
metaphor-lab, you're so strong. i dont know that i have it in me to just... STOP.
on top of this worry, jonni's been acting weird lately and i can't help but think i did something again. i dont want to be pushy so i'm just gonna give him his space and if it is me then i've no idea what i've done this time.
right now... i just fucking give up on everything and everyone.
11:44 a.m. - January 16, 2009
Recent entries:
solitude - March 31, 2014
Je suis triste... - June 28, 2013
I thought I found what I always wanted - June 25, 2013
oh you delicate heart... - June 18, 2013
all the small things... - May 21, 2013
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